Trimming Trees is not for me....Anymore.. Part 2

If you are interested in the first part of this, unfortunately, true story just click the link below.
Trimming Trees is not for me anymore Part 1

Continuing the story:
I am now in the emergency room at Norman Regional Hospital and after a round of x-rays they have determined that I have several broken ribs and a partially collapsed lung. When you have a collapsed lung you do NOT get pain medication.

The Doctor was waiting to see if my lung would re-inflate on its own. The entire wait is about 6 hours.

So, we are "killing" time and this is what I here from my wife:

Wife: My husband has a DNS and I want it followed now!
Doctor: You mean DNR? He isn't Dead and hasn't been nor will he die from this injury. So a DNR does not apply.
Wife: Not DNR he has a DNS

Doctor: Ma'am it is DNR ----Do Not Resuscitate

Wife: NO! He can't stand pain so his is a DNS--Do Not Suffer and I want you to put him down..I mean put him out of my...er...his misery NOW!

Doctor: Ah, ummmm, there is no such thing as a DNS ma'am. I think you need to leave now.

Okay, Okay...it didn't really happen that way. But it DID happen like this.
Remember, I am NOT on pain medication, this is just my natural state. (You may feel sorry for my wife now.)As my wife is walking into my room in the ER:

Me: I heard you out there talking to the Doctor.

Wife: Huh?

Me: A DNS, really? Did you think that would work?

Wife: What are you talking about?

Me: I don't think they will fall for a DNS document.

Wife: Huh?...wait, what?

Me: They are not going to believe I have a DNS---Do Not Suffer document and you are not going to be able to get them to put me down!

Wife: Shut up! What are they going to think?
Me: The truth will set me free!

You should have seen the reaction of the Doctor, Nurses and trainees. Plus, my parents and both of my kids were there. I found it quite funny (as did most everyone there) Besides there wasn't any point in me lying there wallowing in self pity. What was done was done and best to have some fun with it. Granted my wife might disagree, but I try to keep people guessing and keep things lively!

Trimming Trees is not for me....Anymore

Last year we purchased a foreclosure property to rehab and flip. Immediately after closing I head home and change into my "work" clothes. I grab the chainsaw and 13' ladder and head out. Oh, almost forgot...grab the cellphone, my wife requires it, since I am going to be alone. (What a worrywort.)
You see, the property had not been properly maintained for years on the outside and was abused on the inside. I figured I would start clearing the tree limbs off the roof, out of the guttering and try to get the shrubbery and volunteer trees under control. Get the basics under control while waiting the final estimates for the real remodel work.
I spent several hours cutting limbs back, checking shingle damage (dang, worse than we thought...new roof required) and trying to get the shrubbery under control. Finally, nothing is touching the roof or guttering and what is still hanging over the roof is at least 5 feet above the shingles.
Time to get down and check it out from the ground.
Looking pretty good, but a few of those big branches are still too close to the house. They are 10' - 12' high, but are drooping and are getting close to the roof and gable end of the house. Fortunately, I have a 13' ladder and can take care of that little problem!

First few cuts are fine. Branches drop straight to the ground. Now cutting a limb about 10" in diameter, standing at the top rung (not the top of the ladder, I'm not a complete idiot...not far from it, but not COMPLETE). The branch snaps, swings down and knocks the ladder out from under me. I tossed the chainsaw and had enough time to think "This is gonna HURT", but landing on my right side and the back of my head smacks the ground.

A rather large miasma of purple and red exploded in my head. Don't think I was knocked out, but I definitely couldn't breathe very well. Managed to sit up and shut off the chainsaw and get my cell phone out of my pocket.

Called my....mother. (Really it was the logical choice. She lives closer and my wife had our two kids and two neighbor kids with her.)
Me: I..............need.......help.........
Mother: Who is this? (I am sure I sounded like a heavy breathing pervert.)
Me: Your.....son..... (I hear the phone move away so she can check caller ID.)
Mother: WHERE ARE YOU! I'll be right there! Do you need an ambulance!
Me: I....don't.....think...so.....
<click> 10-15 seconds pass and phone rings
Mother: I'm on the way and I called an ambulance. I told them if you didn't need it, I probably would.
Me: Fine...............

Ambulance arrives fairly quickly considering I am out in the country. They put on a neck brace, cut off my shirt, load me onto a back board and slide me into the ambulance. Off we go! (These country roads are a little rough!)
Fifteen or 20 minutes into the trip, the EMT says: "Okay, we are coming to a little bump, so be prepared."
BUMP then Me: I don't ...like...your...def..inition...of a.....little...bump!
EMT (Wide-eyed): We, ah, well, but we don't.....
ME (interrupting): Sorry...I.....guess....my... ..attempt...at..humor... ..failed..... (Note to self: Gritted teeth seem to remove the humorous tones from your voice)

Anyway, three broken ribs, a collapsed lung, 6 hours and one chest tube later I get admitted into the hospital. (They were hoping my lung would re-inflate on its own.) BTW, you DO NOT get painkillers when you have a collapsed lung AND you do not want a chest tube...ever! But that will have to be another story.

Four days in the hospital, one huge medical bill and I "saved" a couple thousand dollars not hiring the trees trimmed.